Um, wow.

So, I got up this am after a blissful night of sleep (I only slept for 2 hours the night before) and decided I felt pretty skinny and that I should weigh myself. Now, last week I had to go a hole tighter on my belt so I know things are changing. I have noticed a much more pronounced thing goin' on with my collar bones too. So, I step on the scale (it's been 2 weeks since I last weighed) and I saw something miraculous. I weigh 148.4 pounds. I am in the 140's. It has been 10 years since I was in the 140's. The lowest I ever got with Phen Fen was 147 when I was 21 years old. Today I weigh 148.4 pounds and I am healthy. I am not eating flour, sugar and wheat. I am not obsessing over every bite of food I put in my mouth. I don't have the chaos that has surrounded food, whether I was heavier or thinner, my entire life. I feel pretty free from food obsession. It's amazing. I don't get on the scale every day. I don't weigh the once a month I supposed to but every 2 weeks is huge. I just keep saying the number to myself. I am really just amazed. I thought my journey was done. Even after my surgery, I was kind of resigned to the fact that I would still be kinda fat for the rest of my life - that the 160's, or maybe the 150's, would be where I had to live and I would just yoyo around there. That doesn't have to be. In fact, that isn't going to be. I get to keep losing until I am where I should be. I can be in my 130's and feel good and healthy. Do I wanna weigh 115? Sure - who doesn't? :) But do I HAVE to? Absolutely not. I just get to keep going to the point where I am healthiest and then I just get to live my life. It's amazing to imagine a life that isn't so dietcentric. I am excited about the life I get to lead.

On another happy note, I am dating someone. :) He is great. We've now been on 5 official dates. Like, real dates. He plans things and picks me up and opens car doors and walks on the side of the street where traffic is and does all kinds of romantic, sweet things. We went ice skating downtown last weekend, today we are going to the Getty Villa, Friday night we went to dinner... it's been really nice. I realize I have never really dated someone before. I kinda would just meet someone (always not in my city), get to know them a tiny bit on phone or email and then hook up and have a weird long distance/together 24 hours a day when we are in the same town relationship. I like doing things this way. I think I am finding I really like things a lot slower nowadays. It's been nice getting to know someone and having them get to know me. It's nice to have someone tell me I am a catch and believe them when they say it. There is definitely something to that whole "you have to love yourself in order to be loved" thing. At least it feels better that way.

Work is fantastic, life is great, sobriety is incredible and the world is a beautiful place. Who would have ever thought I would such a cheery person. God, I am annoying. :)

And now ti is time to sit down, turn on the XM Radio '40s station and read the sunday paper. I love being an 80 year old lady.