By the way...

This is me now.

Um, wow.

So, I got up this am after a blissful night of sleep (I only slept for 2 hours the night before) and decided I felt pretty skinny and that I should weigh myself. Now, last week I had to go a hole tighter on my belt so I know things are changing. I have noticed a much more pronounced thing goin' on with my collar bones too. So, I step on the scale (it's been 2 weeks since I last weighed) and I saw something miraculous. I weigh 148.4 pounds. I am in the 140's. It has been 10 years since I was in the 140's. The lowest I ever got with Phen Fen was 147 when I was 21 years old. Today I weigh 148.4 pounds and I am healthy. I am not eating flour, sugar and wheat. I am not obsessing over every bite of food I put in my mouth. I don't have the chaos that has surrounded food, whether I was heavier or thinner, my entire life. I feel pretty free from food obsession. It's amazing. I don't get on the scale every day. I don't weigh the once a month I supposed to but every 2 weeks is huge. I just keep saying the number to myself. I am really just amazed. I thought my journey was done. Even after my surgery, I was kind of resigned to the fact that I would still be kinda fat for the rest of my life - that the 160's, or maybe the 150's, would be where I had to live and I would just yoyo around there. That doesn't have to be. In fact, that isn't going to be. I get to keep losing until I am where I should be. I can be in my 130's and feel good and healthy. Do I wanna weigh 115? Sure - who doesn't? :) But do I HAVE to? Absolutely not. I just get to keep going to the point where I am healthiest and then I just get to live my life. It's amazing to imagine a life that isn't so dietcentric. I am excited about the life I get to lead.

On another happy note, I am dating someone. :) He is great. We've now been on 5 official dates. Like, real dates. He plans things and picks me up and opens car doors and walks on the side of the street where traffic is and does all kinds of romantic, sweet things. We went ice skating downtown last weekend, today we are going to the Getty Villa, Friday night we went to dinner... it's been really nice. I realize I have never really dated someone before. I kinda would just meet someone (always not in my city), get to know them a tiny bit on phone or email and then hook up and have a weird long distance/together 24 hours a day when we are in the same town relationship. I like doing things this way. I think I am finding I really like things a lot slower nowadays. It's been nice getting to know someone and having them get to know me. It's nice to have someone tell me I am a catch and believe them when they say it. There is definitely something to that whole "you have to love yourself in order to be loved" thing. At least it feels better that way.

Work is fantastic, life is great, sobriety is incredible and the world is a beautiful place. Who would have ever thought I would such a cheery person. God, I am annoying. :)

And now ti is time to sit down, turn on the XM Radio '40s station and read the sunday paper. I love being an 80 year old lady.

Life is good.

Seriously, life is really good. The salon is open for business and all is going well. We are slow on the customer scene but it will build. We have a bunch of press on us coming out this month and I really think that will build a lot of buzz. I have been on the floor more, instead of helping on the desk. I still like being able to help them out on the clerical side but I was getting frustrated watching the other associates get to work on dollheads and techniques while I answered the phones. We have our holiday party/celebratory dinner tonight at Dolce. I am gonna go find a party dress to wear, today. I'm excited. :)

I have been seeing a really great guy. :) His name is John and he is great. We've been out 4 times now and it has been really fun. I have never "dated" anyone, really. Like we are slowly getting to know each other every time we go out. I have always gone into relationships long distance so this is a really nice change. He is smart, funny, kind, romantic and just a really good guy. I think I am a fan. Last night we went ice skating downtown in Pershing Square, had dinner at the farmer's market and coffee at the Biltmore. Fun date. :)

Things with my food and weight have been going great. I weighed last week and I was at 152. Amazing. I have lost half of me since my highest weight. Well, highest weight that I know of. I feel amazing. I feel cute and girly and healthy and successful. I am still not eating flour, sugar or wheat. I have had some moments of straying off my plan - just in terms of timing and quantity - but for the most part I have really been sticking to things. I am so glad I finally am dealing with my food stuff. The surgeries have had a huge part in it. It's interesting how they ended up not being the solution, but rather what led me to it. The mental and emotional and spiritual rewards from my weight loss and this whole journey are immense and priceless.

I spoke at my regular Thursday AA meeting last week. My sponsor is the secretary of the meeting and she asked me to speak. It was weird. I had to tell my whole story in 15 minutes. I don't remember anything I said, really. I am told I was funny and touching and everything so that feels good. I feel like such a part of that meeting and AA in general. It is just such a good feeling. I am so thankful for everything that has come out of this - my life is better than I could veer imagine it being. Like, I knew things would get better if I got sober but I had no idea how amazing I would feel. I am actually happy. I thought I just wasn't a happy person. I was so wrong.

Material Necessities

I need to get some electronic accessories. I have pics on my camera fro the last few months that I need to share with you guys and I can't because I can't find my camera cord. I can't din my $9.99 camera cord so I don't post new pics. Something is wrong with that scenario.

I need to get some cell phone accessories. My phone - my pink razr that I coveted and spent way too much money on - has decided it no longer likes to charge using any of the devices I currently own or have been given, free of charge, by the guy at the AT&T store. It WILL charge using my friend Rachael's car charger that I have essentially stolen from her under the guise of borrowing it. A charger costs $29.99 and I refuse to buy one, even though I can only use my phone for like, 5 minutes every other day now because it is constantly dying and I can only charge it that tiny bit in my 5 minute commute to the salon. Again, it's a ridiculous scenario.

I need to buy some clothes. I can only wear black or white to work and I am finding I didn't prepare so well for this. I don't need fancy stuff or quality goods. I need a trip to Forever 21. For $100, I can probably score 6 shirts and that would pad my paltry selection quite well.

I need to get some gifts for folks for the holidays. Hannukah starts on freakin' Tuesday or something. Damn.

I need a bday present for a 7 year old. She likes princesses but I only buy kids books. Books are fun.

Looks like I just made today's to-do list. I also get to go to the Farmer's Market to buy my veggies for the week. I get to cook spaghetti sauce and meals for the week. I get to paint and work on new pieces that I am really enjoying getting creative with. I get to not go into the salon cuz they decided not to do a regular day today. I did get invited to lunch with the owners but I turned them down because a day off is rare in my world right now and I need to use it wisely. Even though I would have loved to hang with them - they are a hoot - I think I made a good decision on my day.

Enjoy your Sunday, my friends. Read your papers and run your errands and sing in the car and wear a comfy hoodie. I am really grateful for days like these. This is the true definition of Sunday.