Thanks Giving.

I feel like this is the first year I really understand the meaning of Thanksgiving. It's not about stories of Pilgrims and Indians. It's not even about harvest or bountiful crops. It is somewhat about traditions and family, but both of those things can change form throughout your life. Thanksgiving is really something that should be able to be celebrated everyday. In the last month or so, I have been able to say thank you everyday. I am so grateful for the life I have. I feel normal (whatever that is) for the first time in my life. I can do things that everyone else probably takes for granted like plan a day's activities, return something to a store, go to work everyday, get out of bed and not be filled with a sense of impending doom. This is miraculous to me. I don't know how I got here - I certainly didn't do it myself. I finally have a normal life. I am finally able to just deal with life's everyday tasks and I love each and every one of them. Going to the grocery store is cause for rejoicing. Running errands and doing house-y things really make me happy. I feel like I am getting to know myself and what I like for the first time in my life. I am 31 years old and I am just meeting me; and you know what? I think I really like me.

So thank you to each and everyone of you. Thank you FOR each and every one of you. Thank you to whatever it is out there who watches over all of us and pushes us along. Thank you to family who helps me get by and friends who pick me up. Thank you for my talents, my skills, my abilities and my fortune. Thank you for making me able to live my life happy, joyous and free - I am only sorry there are people who didn't have that option and others who don't choose it. Thank you for my new body and for the strength to learn how to keep it. Thank you for my sobriety and all the gifts that have come with it. Thank you for finding me a salon which is a perfect fit for me. Thank you for helping me figure out that sometimes silence is the most beautiful music there is. Thank you for my confidence and self esteem. Thank you for new friends and old ones. Thank you for the chance to get rid of resentments and make amends. Thank you for my warm bed and beautiful home. Thank you, even, for the cat that wakes me up at 6am every day; even she makes me smile.

I hope that you all have a wonderful thanksgiving. I hope you can all find something to be thankful for and that you know that at least one person out there is thankful for you.