On a more serious note...

...I am out of control with my eating. I quit smoking for surgery, and I know that is a really good thing, but I am using food now; I am no longer eating it. I just eat constantly. I snack like it is going out of style. I need to get this under control. I have gained like 5 pounds, I think, in the last 2 weeks. That is unacceptable. Thankfully, I woke up fed up today. I started to write down what I eat and track it on the ww site online. Even if I don't do perfectly, at least I am holding myself accountable for it. I don;t want to be heavier than I already am for this surgery. I really wanna be as low as I can be but I am just eating so much. All I do all night is eat. I am feeding a hunger that is so not physical. It is so dumb. So today I am committing to 3 things, just until surgery for now:

Track all the food I eat - even the not so good stuff.

Treadmill every day - I don't have to run a marathon but I have to walk for at least 45 minutes.

No more eating after 9pm. I can be fine all day and then consume 2000 calories (I don't really know how much) between 9 and 2am. Not ok.

So that is my plan. I am determined to do everything I can to stick to it. It is so not going to be easy. I think i am really going to have to go moment by moment on this, especially the not eating at night. I have had to give up other things that I couldn;t ignore were unhealthy for me. Food, the way I am consuming it, needs to be placed in the same category for me. It all comes down to what kind of life I want to lead. I want to be free of this shit and I just need to face it and do it. And chew a lot of gum and drink a lot of Crystal Light. :)

Wish me luck.