news

so i know it's been a long time but i have been trying to fix some things in my life. it has been working out ok and not ok, depending on how you look at it. let's start with the good stuff:

Today I have 46 days of sobriety. again. i woke up January 24th and realized I was miserable and needed to do something about it. i had been drinking again for a couple months and it was not doing anything good for me and i was so unhappy and couldn't figure out why. this trip around has been absolutely amazing. i have made some incredible friends and have been getting really involved. i have commitments at 2 meetings every week (I have to greet people when they come in so i am forced to intro my self to people and stuff) and i have been getting to meetings every day, except the last 2 saturdays due to plans with family. i am happier than i was and am working towards a better life. i need this. aa helps me function and live my life the way i would like ti to be. i get to learn how to deal with everyday shit that overwhelms me. we all know i am a bit off kilter. i need help and this helps me. i am much happier in myu new sobriety. wish me luck.

i am going to weight watchers. i have been slowly gaining weight back and needed to get things under control. since mid january i haave lost about 10 pounds. i am back in my size 12 pants and can pretty much rock a size large shirt. it is awesome. i am feeling better and am so happy to see the scales going down again. phew. that was scary. i am gonna make an appointment to get a referral to a plastic surgeon soon for a consult. i just want to know what i have to look forward to. i want to know procedures, cost, healing time, etc. i am planning to try and get in for some plastics after i graduate school in the beginning of july. i would love to be able to start my new life with the body i have under all of this skin. I know I will probably need my tummy done, my boobs lifted, my thighs lifted and, if i am brave, my arms. i will keep you posted.

School is going so incredibly well. I love every moment of every day I am there. I have been doing really cool color work and some really great cuts too. I have cut and coloredd my mom's hair now and i cut molly's too. they both look great. i never knew i would love doing this so much. i have no doubt i made the best decision of my life.

Now ontothe not so good news. Jason and I broke up. It's a long, sordid tale but we aren't together anymore. it is sad and disappointing and anger-causing and a million other things, but it is for the best. neither of us has time for this right now anyway. he has 2 jobs and life to deal with and i have school and sobriety. i hope we can find a frinedly place to land in all of this. it hasn't been easy but everything happens for a reason. it was a wonderful year we had together. i am not in the most loving place about it all but i don't wann abash him with things i will just be taking back in the coming months so i will leave things at that. but just an fyi for y'all. i am single again.

i am off to enjoy a beautiful sunny santa monica sunday. i missed my meeting on the beach i go to every sunday am cuz of a late night and the time change but i am gonna try to get to a 12:30 instead. wish me luck. i will try to update more often and keep y'all up to date on the world according to me. it's a weird one.