so i lag, what else is new?
I just have issues with precision. Is it precision? Doing the same thing over and over again? Or is that accuracy? I think it is precision. Whatever. Sometimes I just don't update for a while. Whatever, I have been way busy.
So, my mom got married to super cool Chuck. I am stoked. He rocks. The wedding wasnice and they both loved it so I would say that is a success.
I managed to fight my food demons all week and get through a slew of fancy meals without having a nervous breakdown. I wasn't sure if I was gonna make it for a little bit there. I didn;t realize it was going to be so hard to be aroud food. I know it will be easier down the road when I can actually eat things from restaurants but it was torturous in the beginning of last week. Me with my dumb broth (made for me from scratch by my wonderful Buddy) and everyone else with their hot, juicy slab of pork loin. I wanted to cry. By the time Thanksgiving rolled around I moved myself onto mashed potatoes just so I could have something that was like real food.
I guess it's gonna take me a while to really get past this oart. I mean, the surgery wasn't magic. The surgery didn't change my brain. I still want to eat an entire pizza, I just can't. All in all, that is a great thing but I wish it wiped my memory too, kinda. I wish I didn't know what a burger tasted like or how much I love Taco Bell. Well, in the long run, I can taste those things down the road. This surgery isn;t about deprivation, it is about control. This will allow me to have control so I can have a bite fo soemthing and not the whole thing. I wanted food from the moment we left the hospital. The second I knew I could take in broth, I knew I wanted a bean and cheese burrito from taco bell - nop onions, extra sauce. I just do. Now some people call this head hunger but to me, it's all been head hunger. I never ate to fill a nutritional need. I just didn't work that way. Now I have to and I am so grateful for that. In fact, I am getting hungry now. I believe a protein shake may be in order here.
Well, I am off to my day of catch up at the office. I am smiling and loving my life right now. I am thankful for the people around me and for everyone in my life who cares so much for me and for whom I would do anything. I am so f'ing lucky.
So, my mom got married to super cool Chuck. I am stoked. He rocks. The wedding wasnice and they both loved it so I would say that is a success.
I managed to fight my food demons all week and get through a slew of fancy meals without having a nervous breakdown. I wasn't sure if I was gonna make it for a little bit there. I didn;t realize it was going to be so hard to be aroud food. I know it will be easier down the road when I can actually eat things from restaurants but it was torturous in the beginning of last week. Me with my dumb broth (made for me from scratch by my wonderful Buddy) and everyone else with their hot, juicy slab of pork loin. I wanted to cry. By the time Thanksgiving rolled around I moved myself onto mashed potatoes just so I could have something that was like real food.
I guess it's gonna take me a while to really get past this oart. I mean, the surgery wasn't magic. The surgery didn't change my brain. I still want to eat an entire pizza, I just can't. All in all, that is a great thing but I wish it wiped my memory too, kinda. I wish I didn't know what a burger tasted like or how much I love Taco Bell. Well, in the long run, I can taste those things down the road. This surgery isn;t about deprivation, it is about control. This will allow me to have control so I can have a bite fo soemthing and not the whole thing. I wanted food from the moment we left the hospital. The second I knew I could take in broth, I knew I wanted a bean and cheese burrito from taco bell - nop onions, extra sauce. I just do. Now some people call this head hunger but to me, it's all been head hunger. I never ate to fill a nutritional need. I just didn't work that way. Now I have to and I am so grateful for that. In fact, I am getting hungry now. I believe a protein shake may be in order here.
Well, I am off to my day of catch up at the office. I am smiling and loving my life right now. I am thankful for the people around me and for everyone in my life who cares so much for me and for whom I would do anything. I am so f'ing lucky.
posted by Neely at 2:20 PM
1 Comments:
You rock so hard. You can totally do this, which is the most awesome part. You continue to inspire me. And just so you know, Taco Bell always sounds much better than it actually tasted once you've eaten it. The only thing good about Taco Bell is the Spork. See my link, below.
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