the countdown keeps on countin'...

This is the heaviest I will ever be for the rest of my life.

ok, so... it's only like 3 and a half more days. I think I might be able to make it through that.

I am sitting at my desk at work, knowing I need to finish cleaning and organizing before I leave for these next couple of weeks and still I am sitting here writing this and trying to convince myself I should get more water. It's weird. I am looking at my empty fake Nalgene bottle, my throat hurts because I am so thirsty, and yet I am still just typing away. Get some water, you moron. I don't listen to my inner voice enough. I really am thirsty. But I apparently also have to pee. Ok, one trip, 2 jobs. Be right back.

Mission accomplished. My throat still hurts though and now I kind of have a bit of a headache. Huh. Maybe I just need caffeine. I always need caffeine. Oh man, I am giving up caffeine on Tuesday. Shit this is going to be the hardest part, I think. No one wants to give that up. Me least of all.

Well, last day of work, how do I feel about you? Excited. I am ready to be out of this place for a little bit. It's not a hard job in the least, just drudgery and busy work for the most part. I will miss people and all that good stuff but really, I just want to not have to come here every day for the next couple of weeks.

I will try to write more before the big day comes. I am having a last hurrah tonight with some friends. Beer and games is our plan and I am excited. Sunny is coming home from work with me to prep and then we will whoop it up. I think she might even help me clean which would be the nicest gift she could ever give me. I know some damn good people.

Here's to a clean desk and a clean house and a clean slate. Bunny told me that this surgery wasn't going to make me any more perfect or any different; just thinner. I will take thinner for now. I will take thinner so I can do all the stuff I want to do in my life. Right now this is just an existence.