Goings Ons/Freaking the fuck out
So you may have noticed from my cheezy little weight graph that I am down 6 lbs. as of this morning. Now, I don't know if that is EXACTLY accurate, as the low weight is me 1st thing in the am, not wearing the jeans that I would be wearing when I weigh in at the doctor's office. Look, I know it might be a little off but realizing that I may have already lost this much... that is pretty friggin' cool.
I started my food regimen for reals yesterday. I was hardcore and am hoping I can keep this up. I am using FitDay to keep track of what I eat. I used it when I was doing Atkins but I am definitely paying more attention now. It tracks my exercise and food and I could do a journal too but I have this. :)So anyway, I am down to a "diet" amount of calories now. I think this just might work. :)
I am, again, trying to be patient. I am just so excited to get this all going. I know - you guys must be sick of hearing me say this. I have to wait about another month, probably, until I even have my surgery date. I think once I know that date I will be able to breathe.
I have so much craziness and anxiety around my life right now. I am going to move October 1 and have to go through finding a place. I am terrified that we won't find the perfect apartment in the perfect place. (As I write this I realize I need to check CL again for apartments. Apparently 500 times a day isn;t enough for me!) I am excited to live with who I am moving in with - Allison and Lisa. They are both great. They are fun and considerate and responsible and hilarious and warm and kind all at the same time. I think this will be great. I have constant stress about moving though. I am afraid I won;t have time to pack everything. I am afraid there won't be enough room in the new place for all my stuff. I am afraid we will end up living somewhere crappy. I am afraid that I will realize I just want to live alone. I am so scared and stressed about all of these things. I think I just need to feel more in control of this. Once Sept 1 comes and we can start looking for places in earnest. I will feel better. I hope. I think I would feel less freaked out if I didn;t have to be in Boston the last weekend of the month when I am supposed to be moving. I also will be in LA for Molly's 30th bday the weekend of the 9th and I want to be in LA for Andrea when she moves into her new house. Why does September want to kill me?
Ok. Trying to breathe now.
I started my food regimen for reals yesterday. I was hardcore and am hoping I can keep this up. I am using FitDay to keep track of what I eat. I used it when I was doing Atkins but I am definitely paying more attention now. It tracks my exercise and food and I could do a journal too but I have this. :)So anyway, I am down to a "diet" amount of calories now. I think this just might work. :)
I am, again, trying to be patient. I am just so excited to get this all going. I know - you guys must be sick of hearing me say this. I have to wait about another month, probably, until I even have my surgery date. I think once I know that date I will be able to breathe.
I have so much craziness and anxiety around my life right now. I am going to move October 1 and have to go through finding a place. I am terrified that we won't find the perfect apartment in the perfect place. (As I write this I realize I need to check CL again for apartments. Apparently 500 times a day isn;t enough for me!) I am excited to live with who I am moving in with - Allison and Lisa. They are both great. They are fun and considerate and responsible and hilarious and warm and kind all at the same time. I think this will be great. I have constant stress about moving though. I am afraid I won;t have time to pack everything. I am afraid there won't be enough room in the new place for all my stuff. I am afraid we will end up living somewhere crappy. I am afraid that I will realize I just want to live alone. I am so scared and stressed about all of these things. I think I just need to feel more in control of this. Once Sept 1 comes and we can start looking for places in earnest. I will feel better. I hope. I think I would feel less freaked out if I didn;t have to be in Boston the last weekend of the month when I am supposed to be moving. I also will be in LA for Molly's 30th bday the weekend of the 9th and I want to be in LA for Andrea when she moves into her new house. Why does September want to kill me?
Ok. Trying to breathe now.
posted by Neely at 2:05 PM
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